Cycles

 

They say the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree…

Well ain’t that some shit.

As you grow older you have to eventually stop using your past for an excuse for why you do the things you do, even though your past heavily attributes to the way you are (right?).  As you grow you learn, and your past can’t be “all you know” anymore.

So with that being said, I can’t give you a personal example of a happily married couple that I know. My mother is divorced, my father has been divorced twice, and I feel like deep down he’s vying for a 3peat before its all said and done.

So here I am, hopeless romantic, (emphasize hopeless) not very enticed by the marriage life. Even though I do want to have a family and a few bad ass kids of my own one day. Yeah, I know its feasible to roll away from the bad trends set by those before me. Hell, I’m the first one in the family to go to college, earn a degree and somehow stay outside a prison cell without a plethora of offspring somewhere.

This is different though.

 From what I’ve seen growing up and taking part in these new school “seasonal” relationships-marriage isn’t looking too hot, but I’m definitely down for the bachelor parties. Maybe I haven’t found the one yet, maybe I’ve found the one but the timing was wrong (don’t we love that one), or maybe…I haven’t found myself yet.

Voila.

I am Dexter and this is my laboratory. Feel like I just found gold. No, but I’m really not sure how to tackle this one. You have to be strong enough to be vulnerable, so you can love someone just as much-or even more than you love yourself.

That’s some deep shit.

 Sounds good, but obviously easier said than done. I guess the hardest part is timing. Tomorrow is never promised and you definitely don’t want to be stuck settling because of the intangibles not falling in your favor and you start running out of cards to play. Then when I realize I turn 24 this year, I’m getting old. Not old-old, like young-old. Like when rappers drop the “Lil” out of their name, its time to grow up.

The fast life honestly doesn’t entice me anymore anyway, but its always a question-do you build with someone, or work on yourself then find someone once your ready?

Hope time is on our side either way.

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