Mumbling

Life is full of Transitions-changes even. The evolution of oneself. I’ve always believed that life always comes full circle and everything happens for a reason. The simple “left instead of right” decisions we make shape us more than we know. It makes you wonder do we consciously make decisions or are our choices preordained by a higher power.

I remember when I used to dream about the things that I’m doing now. It actually makes me emotional and I slightly tear up, because I remember when it was so far away- unbelievable even. I went from an outlandish knucklehead to the golden child. The struggle was hard, but simultaneously beautiful. I used to bottle up all my emotions, and have internal rage against the world. I wouldn’t care to tell my story, because I believed that nobody cared, but people need to hear your story, because we all fight similar battles.

Everyone has a story.

More so, the interactions that you have with people are all a part of your story. Whether on a micro or macro scale those words are written in permanent ink. Whew, I try not to think about it. I actually think a lot, too damn much. Just to think in the next 6 years I’ll be 30 years old, career and family hopefully. That’s crazy to imagine a change of pace like that.

I always thought I’d find the love of my life in college.

To be honest, I probably did. I either fucked it up or the timing wasn’t right (fucked it up). So back to the full circle thing. I feel like I’ve found myself but I don’t truly “understand me” yet. I’m still growing. Yeah, you can grow with somebody and all that jazz but I’m used to being alone to the point that I actually prefer it even if I do peak over my “heavy-artillery stay away from my heart wall” every now and again.

Actually feel like I’m rambling a bit, but sometimes we need to do that. Say the little things that are on our minds. I feel like I’m almost ready to finish my novel. However, I feel like it won’t happen until I’m away from it all. I might write an autobiography too, maybe. Or I’ll just blog about it for my kids. So they can know everything. Read about me when they think about me when I’m gone. Memoir shit. That’d be dope.

“Damn, dad was kinda deep-smooth even”

Haha.

Word.

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