To a degree I feel as if I understand women. Now, before you start going on a tandem about how men will never understand women and what not, just hear me out.
For the majority of my childhood I grew up an only child with my mother. Might I say who is one HELL of a woman, she’s a scorpion, (I mean Scorpio) so she’s definitely tough.
I’ve heard that they say men who grow up with their mothers without a father in the house develop differently than those with a male figure in the household- not always but its possible.
I believe that I developed an understanding of the tendencies of a woman.
Every woman is different, yes, but from a sociological standpoint we as humans share common nature and tendencies. I believe that in my four (ok maybe 5) years of college that I have encountered every “type” (that’s how we’ll phrase it for conversational purposes) of woman there is.
What the hell do you mean by tendencies?
It’s simple. Its derived from one’s upbringing, habits, self-confidence, social circle, how you carry yourself, amongst millions of other minor details such as how you make eye contact for example. I’m a writer (so I like to think anyway), so I’ve always been all about the details.
Okay Mr. Know it All, so who are these women?
I knew you’d be asking yourself that, so I’ve composed a short list of the “types” of women I believe there to be-categorically anyway. Ironically, I believe every woman goes through every type no matter the duration of the stage, it’s similar to relationship phases we all go through.
- The Dreamer (Optimist)
- The Butterfly (Love-struck)
- The Cocoon (Heartbroken)
- The Caterpillar (Pessimist)
Alright, so I know the stages sound weird but let’s have some fun with this. Just going to group a lot of this together, because we’ll be here all night if not.
(And Ain’t Nobody Got Time For That)*
This is the woman who is still “pure” per say. Not speaking from an sexual standpoint, more so untainted emotionally. Is there even such a thing? To a degree there is, or for everyone there was. Also known as the optimist you believe in love and if you do everything “a woman should do” for a man, that you’ll be treated right and he’ll never leave you. Unfortunately for a multitude of reasons we know this not to be true.
No matter the duration of the dream, eventually we all wake up.
I titled this in conjunction with the sensational comparison of butterflies in ones’ stomach that is felt when they are attracted to someone. This butterfly stage will have you doing things that you wouldn’t normally do. However, in this digital age we are trapped in we also have the “social butterfly.” Otherwise known as one that lacks confidence and needs social reassertion of their exterior looks, or relationship, or how they live.
The butterfly flaps their wings for all to see, even if in reality they can’t even fly.
If you’re paying attention, you’ll notice a trend. However, we’re going backwards. Why? (Well, that my friend is the cliffhanger.) This “cocoon“ is the wall we all build when shit hits the fan. Whatever the internal distress that causes the Great Wall of Trauma to be built (see what I did there?) is the unconscious or conscious hardening of oneself to be protected from everything. You’re closed off, and you begin to cleanse yourself. Even though that’s perfectly fine, you’re still avoiding the very thing that caused you to build that wall, or the only person capable of climbing that wall with ease. This fortress of ignored emotions that you barricade yourself with self-inflicts you with pain within its confinement. You’ve trapped yourself in a place that you couldn’t escape if you wanted to.
Like an old folk tale, you look at the very thing you want, the very thing that you should stay away from, from a tall tower window confined in its stone cold walls.
You’re not who you used to be, and the world is to blame (right?) you’re stuck in-between a fork in the road with your life trying to decide whether or not “It’s them or you” that’s the problem. The constant feeling of self-discernment thinking that you’re the reason why it never works out. Why you may or may not be the one who got away for someone, and why you subject yourself to repetitive disappointment despite the voices from your conscience (and those who like to play conscience). You essentially become an emotional pessimist.
Polar opposite to the dreamer that you used to be. Eventually you neglect apparent positives within others because they’re inevitably associated with some type of negative that you’ve experienced before.
We’re all storybooks, and everyday is another page written about our lives. We were made to love; that’s why I believe we lose ourselves when we do. The problem is that unfortunately when you lose yourself for someone-they’re not always there to find you.