The things I used to do don’t excite me anymore.

I presume that it’s a phase thing, continuously growing up and out of your character traits. It’s not one of those, “I don’t know who I am” situations because I know who I am, do I know what I want would be the more appropriate question.

I want to be successful, I want to travel the world, I want to have a family-eventually. However with this man-made concept of “time” you never really know what chapter you’re on I would say. You just keep going, hoping you didn’t skim where you should indulge and vice versa.

Secondly, I feel like I’m finally creeping on the enlightenment stage of my life. Not that I’ve been ignorant to “the happenings” of the world- because I’m here for it. However, there’s degrees to this shit and it’s all starting to come full circle.

Sometimes seemingly selfish decisions are best for everyone. That’s how I previously let go of all the anger in my heart, because you have to respect ones’ journey.
We all say we never change. We do inevitably, but simultaneously we don’t.

Essentially, we evolve.

“Seemingly closed off to the world, but just coded in a way most are not meant to understand, only understood by those who influence you forever-in a moment.”


Cause & Effect

I actually was inspired to go on a tangent about the drive that I have in life, but as the day went on that kind of subsided (bummer).

Anyway, I kind of just felt like writing, but I’ll try to flow with the subject topic. It’s weird that I can’t really express myself-but it’s not. I’ve been writing for over 13 years and I could write a book about how I feel, but if you ask me to tell you how I feel you’ll get the stale face.

There’s still parts of myself I choose to ignore. Definitely unfair to others but I believe it’s more unfair to myself. We all have our own internal battles, and we all have a story.

A prologue to our masterpiece biography. Everyone’s story matters, and every interaction you have with someone you become a part of someone’s story.

That’s some deep shit.

I say that a lot, but it’s real.
It’s actually entertaining, but somewhat eerie that I’m so nonchalant. Growing up I had a temper like no other, but eventually it just disappeared- I became cold.
Even though there are still minute things that can set me completely the fuck off, but I left those circumstances behind long ago.

Im an introvert, but only at times, I thought that I talked too much. Guess that’s the Gemini in me (gang-gang).

Okay I’m done lol.

Seriously though, If I broke down my life it’d an oxymoron in short, but I guess that’s the beauty of it. It’s not supposed to make sense. That’s what makes you different.

Hmm. Growing up I had a knack for not finishing things I started, like running away from my problems. Main reason I came back to Georgia in the first place. To finish what I started. I don’t feel like I’m running away this time though.

This time, it’s actually time to go.


I don’t talk about relationships much, because I don’t feel like I’m qualified to do so.

If I counted the amount of relationships I’ve had I would still be on one hand and I wouldn’t need all of my fingers (tragic).

However, I have had my fair share of Honeymoons.

Honeymoons? Yeah, honeymoons. Not the just married type of honeymoon, more like just hit it off-and for some reason kept going.

They say a lot of things about the millennials.  They say we’re impatient, selfish and entitled to a sense of instant gratification.

Whether the aforementioned traits hold substantial validity is irrelevant, however millennials have combined some of these traits and formed a “hook-up” culture.

Personally, I believe that the bulk of the issue lies in the foundation from which we stem our relationships from. If we filter our focus to the African-American community, most children reach adolescence in a single parent household, witness a divorce or a combination of the two.

The perspective of a healthy relationship is most times construed from the start, and although mirroring the habits of one’s predecessors is not an excuse, you have to admit it is hard to break a such a vicious cycle when you’re surrounded by it.

Picture this.

If you have a home it can only be as strong as the foundation it was built upon. If the foundation is weak then no matter the aesthetics of the home, it will waver from the inside out. We are not always products of our environments, but your roots are tied to you, like inherited genetics-whether you accept the reality of it or not.

Strayed a bit, but back to the honeymoons, the situation has become similar to a disease without an antidote. An epidemic that has come in contact with everyone.

I have theories of why society has become lost in this ‘sunken place’ and has yet to get out (see what I did there?).

The Presence of Social Media

  • Social media has become a third party in our relationships. Its as if the world is always watching our movements. Where we are, what we’re doing, and how we’re feeling. The interference of social media in modern day relationships definitely is a cause for shortcomings.

The Art of Peer Pressure

  • Many times we rush relations and turn them into relationships just to watch the ship sink faster than you’d finish watching Titanic (spoiler alert). Whether it comes internally, from family and friends, or complete strangers-applying pressure to relationships rarely makes diamonds.

A Plethora of Intercourse

  • Fancy title, but sex, sex, sex, sex, sex- And more sex. It wouldn’t be a honeymoon without sex right? We’ve become attached to the heightening of our skin’s sensation that we let it overshadow our spirit energy and misconstrue that temporary feeling for love. Yes. You love how it feels, but what happens when you come down? What a cheap vacation.

Overall, we’re deadlocked in this tug-of-war with love. Stuck in redundant honeymoon stages with one another, and unfortunately some of us can’t even make it that far. Some are lucky. Some have broken the trance that was set upon us by Pandora’s box while others still have some ways to go.

As long as you lose yourself enough to find yourself it’ll all be worth it.

Embrace the journey, embrace the feeling.

Happy honeymooning.



My head is full of thoughts, but the crazy part is I don’t even know where to start.

I’m about to start the beginning of the rest of my life, and for a weekend I was able to have a taste of what that will be like.

I can sum Las Vegas up into one phrase.

“Everything you’ve ever wanted, and everything that will consume you.”

I see why they call this shit “Sin City” It’s not solely because of the access to drugs, gambling or prostitution- it’s literally an open bar to whatever your vice is in life.

Vegas is similar to Atlanta, but it’s like if this shit was a video game Atlanta would be ‘Normal’ mode and Vegas would be ‘Hard as fuck’.

Is it weird that I like this shit though?

I’m aroused by the difficulty of the lifestyle. I loved Atlanta because I always categorized it as the concrete jungle. The city will either make you or break you. I love that, I really do.

I grew up with a “you’re not even supposed to be here” mentality when it came to my spare share of successes, so I always had very few cares in the world.

Eventually I changed my mentality towards success to being habitual instead of accidental, that’s when I began to realize that nothing was by chance- I am exactly where I belong.

You wouldn’t believe me but here’s a true story. Around the age of 13 was probably the toughest years of my life for reasons that we may or may not ever talk about. Anyway, I used to tell my best friend that one day I would get away and move to Nevada, (this is before I knew Las Vegas existed).

He would ask, “Why Nevada?”

I don’t know, it just feels right.  

To my younger self I must say yes.

Yes, it does.


Life is full of Transitions-changes even. The evolution of oneself. I’ve always believed that life always comes full circle and everything happens for a reason. The simple “left instead of right” decisions we make shape us more than we know. It makes you wonder do we consciously make decisions or are our choices preordained by a higher power.

I remember when I used to dream about the things that I’m doing now. It actually makes me emotional and I slightly tear up, because I remember when it was so far away- unbelievable even. I went from an outlandish knucklehead to the golden child. The struggle was hard, but simultaneously beautiful. I used to bottle up all my emotions, and have internal rage against the world. I wouldn’t care to tell my story, because I believed that nobody cared, but people need to hear your story, because we all fight similar battles.

Everyone has a story.

More so, the interactions that you have with people are all a part of your story. Whether on a micro or macro scale those words are written in permanent ink. Whew, I try not to think about it. I actually think a lot, too damn much. Just to think in the next 6 years I’ll be 30 years old, career and family hopefully. That’s crazy to imagine a change of pace like that.

I always thought I’d find the love of my life in college.

To be honest, I probably did. I either fucked it up or the timing wasn’t right (fucked it up). So back to the full circle thing. I feel like I’ve found myself but I don’t truly “understand me” yet. I’m still growing. Yeah, you can grow with somebody and all that jazz but I’m used to being alone to the point that I actually prefer it even if I do peak over my “heavy-artillery stay away from my heart wall” every now and again.

Actually feel like I’m rambling a bit, but sometimes we need to do that. Say the little things that are on our minds. I feel like I’m almost ready to finish my novel. However, I feel like it won’t happen until I’m away from it all. I might write an autobiography too, maybe. Or I’ll just blog about it for my kids. So they can know everything. Read about me when they think about me when I’m gone. Memoir shit. That’d be dope.

“Damn, dad was kinda deep-smooth even”



Bitter Ends & Sweet Beginnings

Everyday that passes you learn that life is more about the intangibles than the materialistic things.

Moments become memories that stay with you for the rest of time. I guess that’s why they say someone will always remember how you made them feel- soul ties, chains and scars.

That’s Deep.

Anyway, I’m about to start a new journey in my life. Which I can’t wait to start but I know I’m going to miss “the now” later on. I’ve always been someone to plan ahead. I would even plan ahead to procrastinate (now that’s dedication).

I’m not scared, at least I don’t think so because I have a plan. Career, school, and personal aspirations revolve around my brain 24/7. I’m hungry for success, but I’ve learned that success is perspective based and subjective to its proprietor. Is it money, station, or family? Or is it simply the pursuit and acquiring happiness. To pass over to the other side with positive vibes and a smile.

I currently feel like the young warrior who has matured enough to leave his home and loved ones behind in order to venture the world. Whether I ultimately create a kingdom yonder or return to help the village prosper after growing is the next chapter.

Either way there’s no easy way to say goodbye, because there’s no guarantee that I’ll ever be back.

Starting over. Thinking of yourself and what you desire to accomplish is somewhat selfish. Emotionally detaching yourself from those around you to make the change easier, purposely viewing the world in black & white. I feel like Atlanta has done all it can for me right now, and Atlanta,

I want to thank you for everything.



They say the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree…

Well ain’t that some shit.

As you grow older you have to eventually stop using your past for an excuse for why you do the things you do, even though your past heavily attributes to the way you are (right?).  As you grow you learn, and your past can’t be “all you know” anymore.

So with that being said, I can’t give you a personal example of a happily married couple that I know. My mother is divorced, my father has been divorced twice, and I feel like deep down he’s vying for a 3peat before its all said and done.

So here I am, hopeless romantic, (emphasize hopeless) not very enticed by the marriage life. Even though I do want to have a family and a few bad ass kids of my own one day. Yeah, I know its feasible to roll away from the bad trends set by those before me. Hell, I’m the first one in the family to go to college, earn a degree and somehow stay outside a prison cell without a plethora of offspring somewhere.

This is different though.

 From what I’ve seen growing up and taking part in these new school “seasonal” relationships-marriage isn’t looking too hot, but I’m definitely down for the bachelor parties. Maybe I haven’t found the one yet, maybe I’ve found the one but the timing was wrong (don’t we love that one), or maybe…I haven’t found myself yet.


I am Dexter and this is my laboratory. Feel like I just found gold. No, but I’m really not sure how to tackle this one. You have to be strong enough to be vulnerable, so you can love someone just as much-or even more than you love yourself.

That’s some deep shit.

 Sounds good, but obviously easier said than done. I guess the hardest part is timing. Tomorrow is never promised and you definitely don’t want to be stuck settling because of the intangibles not falling in your favor and you start running out of cards to play. Then when I realize I turn 24 this year, I’m getting old. Not old-old, like young-old. Like when rappers drop the “Lil” out of their name, its time to grow up.

The fast life honestly doesn’t entice me anymore anyway, but its always a question-do you build with someone, or work on yourself then find someone once your ready?

Hope time is on our side either way.